


Killua takes a dump

by Ceileice



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gon Listens to Kanye West???, Gon is a douche who feeds Killua mayonnaise despite Killua being allergic to it, His shit stinks, Just a Normal Day for these two, Killua is an ass bitch, Killua is taking a dump, M/M, Poor Gon, fucking POOP sTAnKS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4943068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceileice/pseuds/Ceileice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>and poor Gon is dragged into it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killua takes a dump

Thanks to that dinner consisting of delicious stuffed submarine sandwiches, fried pickles, and sour cream and onion chips, Killua was on the fucking toilet.

Why?

Because the submarine sandwiches he enjoyed contained mayonnaise - a product he was severely allergic to.

Now, his allergies weren't like sneezing every five minutes, swelling up at the tongue, or growing strange bumps on his belly. Instead he received full-on diarrhea every time he ate something with mayonnaise in it - even the tiniest tiny bit of mayonnaise left him on the toilet for at least 3 fucking hours.

"Gon," he uttered pitifully, "I'm running out of toilet paper. Please bring me some toilet paper."

"Un!" Gon called out from another room nearby. He was used to doing this kind of thing for Killua. After all, it happened quite often. He placed mayonnaise in a LOT of Killua's food.

He didn't know why, though. He always forgot.

With two rolls of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper in his hands, he rushed into the bathroom to aid his sickly babyboo.

"KIllua, I'm here!" Gon exclaimed as he burst the door open without knocking - Hadn't Killua already given him permission by asking for the TP?

He then observed the green-tinted face of his usually pale friend.

"Oh my, your sickness hasn't gone down at all..." Gon spoke as he set down the rolls of toilet paper.

Killua nodded. "Thanks for the tee-pee, Gon. You really saved my life."

Glances were exchanged at and toward each other. Gon, viewing with empathy as his friend was in a state of peril - and Killua, who was staring into the eyes of his green-clad friend. Those auburn eyes gave him hope - even if it was a false hope - and made him think to himself, It'll all be over soon...

Unfortunately for Killua, however, he felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and immediately began shitting a waterfall all over again. He groaned.

Gon smiled sheepishly. "Make sure you flush the toilet." He began to walk away from the sink he had been leaning against and moved toward the locked door. God, the bathroom fucking reeked of SHIT and Gon needed to get the hell out of there.

"Gon..."

Killua was suddenly muttering, "Can you stay here and hold my hand?"

Gon turned back to face his pitiful toilet-bound friend. He was speechless. Never had Killua requested anything like it before. And Gon was on the fence on this one. Should he stay and bask in the horrendous smell of Killua's shit, holding his poor booboo's hand? Or should he just be like, "Bye, Felicia"?

Gon cringed mentally, and soon it appeared on his face as well. God, it fucking STANKED!

"Uh..." he uttered.

"Please!" Killua burst out, beginning to tear.

Gon couldn't handle it. Making Killua cry would be one of his worst mistakes. He had to stay and hold Killua's hand.

So he did.

"..."

"So, uh..." Gon started, "Nice weather, huh?"

Killua answered with a smile, "I don't fucking know, I'm trapped here in this bathroom with the shits haha."

Gon forced a smile as well. "Hahahaha, right?" Meanwhile, he was thinking, Good grief Killua your shit fucking stinks you need to be put on a better diet, good god, even though I was the one who put mayonnaise in the sandwiches hahaha.

Then Killua burped.

Even his burp smelled like shit. Ew. Gon found it repulsive.

"Shut up, vaginas are repulsive too." Killua blurted out angrily. He could read the fake smile Gon's face donned.

"Wait, what's a vagina?" Gon asked.

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay."

So they remained silenced for the next few minutes. Well, until Killua let out a huuuuge fart.

Gon cried on the inside as he held Killua's hand.

"Gon, I'm so glad you decided to stay here instead of leaving me like a piece of shit to play your dumb Kanye West music. Like really, it brings a tear to my eye - not a tear of sadness, but a tear of joy." Killua admitted.

Gon was... confused to say the least. Was what Killua said just then supposed to be poetically romantic? While he's shitting on the fucking toilet? While Gon's just sitting there, holding it in, taking in the grotesque smell of fucking SHIT?

Who did Killua think he was? Especially after calling Gon's taste in music - Kanye West, yes, - dumb.

"Killua..." Gon began, slightly pissed, "Do you realize how much your shit fucking STANKS?!"

Uh oh, Gon lost his temper...

Killua shook his head. "Us humans tend to be used to our own smell, so no, I do not know how much my 'shit fucking STANKS'."

Gon squeezes Killua's hand. "Killua, stop with the bullshit."

"Gon, I don't think you understand," Killua began to sing in a Disney princess-like voice.

"IT STINKS IN HERE, WHY MUST I SUFFER WITH YOU? IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN'T SMELL THE FRESH MAYONNAISE." Gon screamed.

"Then stop putting it in my food." Killua calmly stated.

"DUDE YO ASS STANKS!"

Now Killua was getting pissed off. "Oh yeah? Says the guy who never showers or changes his clothes!"

Gon then began to sing, "I don't wanna hold yo bitch ass hand~"

Killua grabbed a thick roll of toilet paper and began to unroll it. He was a crumple kind of guy, his excuse being 'ain't nobody got time for that fold shit'.

He then yelled, "Gon, fuck you."

"Fuck you too, dickhead!" Gon exclaimed and he retracted his hand from Killua's. "Gross, you probably used this hand to scratch your ass and didn't even bother washing it!"

"Like it actually matters to you. You eat food off of the ground, fucking furry LARPer." Killua retorted.

"EXCUSE ME STINKY ASS?"

"WANNA GO AT IT, CUNT WEASEL?"

But before anything more could happen, Killua coughed and began to ploop even more. God, the sound was horrifying. Lots of poops were hitting the toilet water hard and splashed against his booty. Killua cringed.

Gon held his breath as he headed for the door.

"Where the FUCK do you think you're going?" Killua asked.

"OUTTA HERE!" Gon answered excitedly.

"FINE!"

Gon slammed the door shut when he left. With a sigh of relief, he was met with the smell of non-shitty air and the sound of the Kanye West CD he had been playing for the past 52 hours. He walked back to his room not caring about his shit bunnyboo and instead resorted to listening to Britney Spears.

Killua, on the other hand, remained on the fucking toilet, however he began to furiously wipe his ass. He wiped so hard he left a rash. Then he had to flush ten thousand times and wipe again, god, he was making a poop lasagna and it was gross.

Then he yelled from the bathroom, "YOU BETTER BE BUYING ME CHOCOLATES."

Gon replied back, screaming, "HELL NOOOOO!"

And thus was just a normal day in the life of Gon Freeccs and Killua Zoldyck.

The End :D

**Author's Note:**

> "10/10 not enough stories about poop" - IGN


End file.
